How are those Resolutions going? Three Steps to a better way!

With New Year’s Day, that Clean Sweep of a day, our thoughts turned to what we will do to change everything in our lives. 

 Everything. 

 Wholesale Change! 

 It’s a New You! 

Complete Transformation as you rip that used-up old calendar off the wall and replace it with 12 grids of endless, shiny possibility! 

 On January 1, we got out a fresh, creamy piece of paper, a brand new Calendar or a new Notes list and started writing down all the great resolutions we’d accomplish this year.  It’d be epic.  This is it, darn it. No more fooling around. Everything wiould be different this time.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Writing it down is great. Typing it is also good. It’s staring you in the face. Sharing your plans is also helpful. You’re building in accountability by looking at what you want to change. Especially if it’s to someone who will check in with you in a supportive way. I love Planning Partners.

A couple of things to think about while applying washi tape and stickers to your pages. What is the goal of each resolution, and is a resolution a realistic way to achieve your goal?

 Have resolutions worked for you in the past?  You know yourself well enough to know if they’re effective or another manifestation of shame.

 Why shame?  Because Resolutions come pre-packaged with words like Should/Must/Need to.  And therein lies the rub.  Those are not encouraging words.  They’re filled with the spectre of failure.  I sure don’t need The Ghost of Unmet Plans Yet to Come scything down bits of my Future Plans all over my pretty January page before I’ve even started.

So…it’s February now. Are you rocking your #100daywhateverchallenge? Is your gym membership already lonely?

Again, if resolutions work for you – YAY – you’ve found your formula for success.  Go forth and tick those boxes off!  I’m truly happy for you.  I love a good ToDo list, but I know that my lists have to be exceptionally achievable in the short term for me to get that, “I crushed that list!” feeling.

 So, how can you make it better?  First, I start with the Overarching Goal, then mind map it down into bite-sized pieces so I can chart progress.  Small stuff. Things I can check off that move me toward the ultimate goal.

Second, I spend time really looking at WHY I want to achieve a goal. It needs to fit my values. I can’t just say, “oh, I’m going to be healthier in 2023” and expect it’ll happen. Why is it important to me? What about it will make things better? Examining its value makes it much more desirable for me. I want to be healthier so I can participate fully in the things I love, with the people I love. That’s a direct line to my values and is very clear.

 What else?  And this is a really important one for me to succeed – I eliminate the Should, the Must, the Need-to.  They do NOT work for me. I change the language in my head.

 What works for me is I Want to.  I Can try.  Why don’t I? (à la Diana Vreeland’s “Why Don’t You?” advice column in Harper’s Bazaar, without the black tulle bows on my wrists or yellow satin bed entirely quilted in butterflies.)

 Asking “Why don’t I?”  makes things a lot more interesting to me.  And if I’m interested, I’m far more likely to succeed.

Creating goals and working toward them can happen at any time of the year, but we do love January for fresh starts. If you’re cruising along happily toward achieving them, I’d love for you to comment below with your success strategies. If you feel like you’ve already abandoned yours, take another look at them and see how you can change your approach so you can experience the fun of putting gold stars beside your wins.